[CloudNull]

The Lord is good.

The wife and I took a gamble moving away from the tech hub of Seattle Washington to a more rural and conservative state. In the process my wife lost her job and I knew I would take a hit on my pay as my work would re-evaluate my salary to align more with my new states economic markets.

My job barely docked my pay and my wife just got a new job making the exact same she made back in Seattle with the added bonus of being fully remote now. Considering the massive difference in the cost of living it is like we both got pay raises.

I hope you all are having a great year... nothing but peace, love and good vibes over here homies.

 

[p_banned]

The Lord is good.

The wife and I took a gamble moving away from the tech hub of Seattle Washington to a more rural and conservative state. In the process my wife lost her job and I knew I would take a hit on my pay as my work would re-evaluate my salary to align more with my new states economic markets.

My job barely docked my pay and my wife just got a new job making the exact same she made back in Seattle with the added bonus of being fully remote now. Considering the massive difference in the cost of living it is like we both got pay raises.

I hope you all are having a great year... nothing but peace, love and good vibes over here homies.

Rural living is amazing. Good that you're back on your feet.

 

[teezzy]

Id adore a more rural life, i gather. Have less than 20% of an acre to my name rn

At least the lawn is easy to mow

 

[p_banned]

Id adore a more rural life, i gather. Have less than 20% of an acre to my name rn

At least the lawn is easy to mow

That's more "rural" than most.

 

[teezzy]

 

[Stouffers]

Id adore a more rural life, i gather. Have less than 20% of an acre to my name rn

At least the lawn is easy to mow

Don't you live in Detroit? How the fuck do you mow rubble?

 

[p_banned]

Don't you live in Detroit? How the fuck do you mow rubble?

You're the one looking to buy an open box TV. Who are you to judge?

 

[LtGoose]

I hate my job. I want to take a business loan out and open up a Laundromat. I'd quit my job in a heartbeat

 

[Dreamlord]

I hate my job. I want to take a business loan out and open up a Laundromat. I'd quit my job in a heartbeat

What is your line of work?

 

[Dr. Farnsgoth]

I love my job but hate many of the narcissistic sociopathic cunts I work with

 

[Grinchy]

What is your line of work?

He works the front desk at a laundromat.

 

[and 3 others]

He works the front desk at a laundromat.

That word has always felt weird reading.

I always read it as "Laundry-mat" but it looks like it should be pronounced "Laundro-mat". Which is it!?!?

 

[DonDonDonPata]

That word has always felt weird reading.

I always read it as "Laundry-mat" but it looks like it should be pronounced "Laundro-mat". Which is it!?!?

The only vowel you're supposed to pronounce is the final A. L'ndr'mat

 

[LtGoose]

What is your line of work?

I'm a Claims Adjuster for an insurance company

 

[Dreamlord]

I'm a Claims Adjuster for an insurance company

Oh god, insurance is the most mind numbingly boring industry. I should know, I spent like 5 years in it. Run. RUN!

 

[bork]

Tired of whores at work getting hooked up. Picking up jobs where they cant do shit and bosses cover for them and have men like me doing everything hard or sketchy. I dont mind doing it im a hard worker. But if some bitch is like no im scared or whatever dont pick up the job where you could potentially be asked to do random shit. Send the dick suckers on the ship for a change.

Im a Longshoreman by the way.

 

[LtGoose]

Oh god, insurance is the most mind numbingly boring industry. I should know, I spent like 5 years in it. Run. RUN!

The constant customer service calls are destroying my spirit. If I was a chick I would have started an onlyfans ages ago, pay my rent with feet pics

 

[p_banned]

I hate my job. I want to take a business loan out and open up a Laundromat. I'd quit my job in a heartbeat

People are so poor these days that they probably wash their clothes in the bathtub.

Spoiler

which is what I did when I was poor

 

[LtGoose]

People are so poor these days that they probably wash their clothes in the bathtub.

Spoiler

which is what I did when I was poor

I would add a live stream component to it so if you're watching the live stream you can pay money to make the lights flicker or make a fog horn go off randomly. That would help keep my Laundromat prices low

 

[Dreamlord]

I would add a live stream component to it so if you're watching the live stream you can pay money to make the lights flicker or make a fog horn go off randomly. That would help keep my Laundromat prices low

Add a top tier where a viewer pays top dollar to watch you drink some of the dirty water. You'll be rich in no time.

 

[Dr. Farnsgoth]

Tired of whores at work getting hooked up. Picking up jobs where they cant do shit and bosses cover for them and have men like me doing everything hard or sketchy. I dont mind doing it im a hard worker. But if some bitch is like no im scared or whatever dont pick up the job where you could potentially be asked to do random shit. Send the dick suckers on the ship for a change.

Im a Longshoreman by the way.

Women don't belong in the workplace tbh. Maybe care roles like nursing but that's it.

 

[infinitys_7th]

The constant customer service calls are destroying my spirit. If I was a chick I would have started an onlyfans ages ago, pay my rent with feet pics

True liberation will be when ThotGPT comes out and lonely men can larp as sexy women to get money from other lonely men. Thot economy, it's a new golddigger rush.

 

[lock2k]

True liberation will be when ThotGPT comes out and lonely men can larp as sexy women to get money from other lonely men. Thot economy, it's a new golddigger rush.

A smart person with prompts and knowledge of Stable Diffusion can already do that with photos.

 

[CloudNull]

I flew back to HQ to meet my teammates all week for in person training. I have to give a presentation to my Director tomorrow and I am shitting bricks. I hate presenting and not sure how I'm going to fill up an hour.

To calm my nerves I spent all last night high on edibles. I was fucking gonezo. During my time high I have come to the conclusion that one of my teammates is a fraud who gets cracked out on Addrell and talks fast to pretend he knows more than he does.

 

[Showdown]

Funny this thread pops up at the top when I just get done defending myself in a stupid sprint meeting for the last 10 minutes. Love it when my portion of a project is taking it on the chin because I need to rely on other teams to get their shit done before I can proceed with my work. Been dealing with that for 2 months now and I'm tired of going to these "agile" meetings with nothing other than, "Just waiting on the other team guys. Nothing to report."

Also don't like doing this Agile nonsense either since I'm not a coder and I don't like that the project team has applied this methodology to an infrastructure project.

 

[DonDonDonPata]

Funny this thread pops up at the top when I just get done defending myself in a stupid sprint meeting for the last 10 minutes. Love it when my portion of a project is taking it on the chin because I need to rely on other teams to get their shit done before I can proceed with my work. Been dealing with that for 2 months now and I'm tired of going to these "agile" meetings with nothing other than, "Just waiting on the other team guys. Nothing to report."

Also don't like doing this Agile nonsense either since I'm not a coder and I don't like that the project team has applied this methodology to an infrastructure project.

the older generations love it. They're obsessed with making "management systems" that reduce the amount of work the middle/upper mgmt has to perform on a daily basis. I was actually just talking to my dad about this a few days ago. Transparency between employees and mgmt, reducing number of weekly reports and emails back and forth, focusing on progress instead of performance and job-description... all these wonderful promised payoffs that never materialize... lol

 

[CloudNull]

Funny this thread pops up at the top when I just get done defending myself in a stupid sprint meeting for the last 10 minutes. Love it when my portion of a project is taking it on the chin because I need to rely on other teams to get their shit done before I can proceed with my work. Been dealing with that for 2 months now and I'm tired of going to these "agile" meetings with nothing other than, "Just waiting on the other team guys. Nothing to report."

Also don't like doing this Agile nonsense either since I'm not a coder and I don't like that the project team has applied this methodology to an infrastructure project.

Are you me? Holy fuck do I hate Agile. The daily standups can suck my balls. Just let me work dawg. You are taking up all my time when I could be getting shit done. Also, I spend so much mental power thinking of Sprints that are coming which now eats up a huge chunk of my time.

I cant stand these management methods.

 

[Showdown]

the older generations love it. They're obsessed with making "management systems" that reduce the amount of work the middle/upper mgmt has to perform on a daily basis. I was actually just talking to my dad about this a few days ago. Transparency between employees and mgmt, reducing number of weekly reports and emails back and forth, focusing on progress instead of performance and job-description... all these wonderful promised payoffs that never materialize... lol

If you're suggesting that's what this methodology is supposed to accomplish then lol. It does not. Well, it doesn't as far as reducing the bloat. It does focus on progress so I can't argue that. But for me, it adds nothing but more overhead, meetings, emails, Teams messages, chances to micromanage from the PM's, etc. I'm in more meetings now than I ever was prior to this project. I've literally forgot how to engineer stuff at this point.

 

[Showdown]

Are you me? Holy fuck do I hate Agile. The daily standups can suck my balls. Just let me work dawg. You are taking up all my time when I could be getting shit done. Also, I spend so much mental power thinking of Sprints that are coming which now eats up a huge chunk of my time.

I cant stand these management methods.

Dude... I literally lay in bed in the morning and think to myself, "Do I really want to get up, log in, and go to our morning standup? Or do I just walk out in traffic?" Because getting smoked by a bus would be far less painful. I hate stand ups, sprint planning, sprint review, sprint retros, etc. It's such a tremendous waste of time I can't fathom how people use this stuff. Classic case of focusing on process instead of the actual work that needs to be done.

And again, they're trying to shoehorn this Agile stuff onto our team and we aren't DevOps so square peg in round hole type BS.

 

[DonDonDonPata]

If you're suggesting that's what this methodology is supposed to accomplish then lol. It does not. Well, it doesn't as far as reducing the bloat. It does focus on progress so I can't argue that. But for me, it adds nothing but more overhead, meetings, emails, Teams messages, chances to micromanage from the PM's, etc. I'm in more meetings now than I ever was prior to this project. I've literally forgot how to engineer stuff at this point.

In my experience, it works for teams that are already self driven and responsible. I've seen it work in those narrow circumstances. But in those same cases, Agile, Kanban, Scrum, etc were just management rubber-stamping the team's self driven nature while getting a bit more of that "transparency".

And out of those successful teams, several of them ended up crumbling eventually, in no small part due to the "transparency" that led mgmt to poke their nose in and fiddle in the very same self-direction they were so eager to preserve via Agile, Kanban, etc

Those are the good cases. I've also seen it imposed top-down on employees and teams to great disaster. It is usually done without much insight or long term goal in mind e.g. some middle manager wants to make a mark and try something nice-sounding to impress the execs, or the execs want to "be more connected with the front line" so it turns into a glorified self-reporting system.

 

[Dreamlord]

I offer my balls as well, to be sucked by Agile.

I've hated this shit since inception (I was there). It got taken over by the fucktards that sell consultancy and all the idiots (management and coders alike) ate it up like caviar.

My daily stand ups take an hour. Of a group of 10-15 people.

 

[Optimus]

In my experience, it works for teams that are already self driven and responsible. I've seen it work in those narrow circumstances. But in those same cases, Agile, Kanban, Scrum, etc were just management rubber-stamping the team's self driven nature while getting a bit more of that "transparency".

And out of those successful teams, several of them ended up crumbling eventually, in no small part due to the "transparency" that led mgmt to poke their nose in and fiddle in the very same self-direction they were so eager to preserve via Agile, Kanban, etc

Those are the good cases. I've also seen it imposed top-down on employees and teams to great disaster. It is usually done without much insight or long term goal in mind e.g. some middle manager wants to make a mark and try something nice-sounding to impress the execs, or the execs want to "be more connected with the front line" so it turns into a glorified self-reporting system.

The fact that all of you are hating on Agile tells me a lot about your teams or the lack thereof. It's not such a narrow set of circumstances where scrum methodologies work. "Self driven" and "responsible" are the hallmark of a team led by two or more senior engineers who are there to lead a team of junior and middle level developers.

I love scrum because it empowers me to manage the management. One of the things that has bothered me since day 1 in this profession is how management likes to introduce wrinkles into our plans and always expects us to course adjust without a cost to progress. A good development manager will wade into the flood of changes the product owner(s) want to push onto the team from above. Good senior level developers will know how to accurately size the incoming feature requests which will, in turn, empower the dev manager to provide clear reports to the product owner(s) so that they understand the full cost of the change in direction they are inevitably coming up with.

Stand up is for the developers. I tell this to every manager and executive who attends one of my stand ups. They have a place and time to talk and a voluntary role at stand up, but it's not there for them to take report on us. Once they understand the actual purpose of stand up, as a place where developers get updates from each other and ask important questions or report work blockers, they believe in the process and generally remain silent unless they have answers to important questions. All the reporting that they are always seeking is delivered to them through the development manager who will ease all their worries and concerns with data.

My current team prefers to buck agile methodologies. They prefer this because they're not senior level developers and don't understand that all the formalities are there to help us and also to insulate us from the chaos of higher ups. This rolls on my current team because there is a very weak development manager figure who does little to shield us. Therefore, we dwell in chaos with a bunch of devs who "just want to work dawg" and prefer to roll solo all the time. We are neither efficient nor producing quality software in this process. There's low or no accountability and shit tons of bugs introduced by incoming feature work with little visibility or poorly detailed feature stories.

Really hope this helps you guys with the scrum blues.

 

[p_banned]

I offer my balls as well, to be sucked by Agile.

I've hated this shit since inception (I was there). It got taken over by the fucktards that sell consultancy and all the idiots (management and coders alike) ate it up like caviar.

My daily stand ups take an hour. Of a group of 10-15 people.

I don't do any. I'm like on 70 projects so don't have my time to waste on such nonsense. I'm a lone wolf and can't stand teamwork so they leave me alone.

 

[DonDonDonPata]

The fact that all of you are hating on Agile tells me a lot about your teams or the lack thereof. It's not such a narrow set of circumstances where scrum methodologies work. "Self driven" and "responsible" are the hallmark of a team led by two or more senior engineers who are there to lead a team of junior and middle level developers.

I love scrum because it empowers me to manage the management. One of the things that has bothered me since day 1 in this profession is how management likes to introduce wrinkles into our plans and always expects us to course adjust without a cost to progress. A good development manager will wade into the flood of changes the product owner(s) want to push onto the team from above. Good senior level developers will know how to accurately size the incoming feature requests which will, in turn, empower the dev manager to provide clear reports to the product owner(s) so that they understand the full cost of the change in direction they are inevitably coming up with.

at the first bolded: yes, it will continue lasting as long as you can "manage the management", that's the blissful first phase.

at the second bolded: that's the second phase. "Umm, we moved this to a higher priority on your Trello board, why isn't it fixed yet?"

Stand up is for the developers. I tell this to every manager and executive who attends one of my stand ups. They have a place and time to talk and a voluntary role at stand up, but it's not there for them to take report on us. Once they understand the actual purpose of stand up, as a place where developers get updates from each other and ask important questions or report work blockers, they believe in the process and generally remain silent unless they have answers to important questions. All the reporting that they are always seeking is delivered to them through the development manager who will ease all their worries and concerns with data.

My current team prefers to buck agile methodologies. They prefer this because they're not senior level developers and don't understand that all the formalities are there to help us and also to insulate us from the chaos of higher ups. This rolls on my current team because there is a very weak development manager figure who doesn't nothing to shield us. Therefore, we dwell in chaos with a bunch of devs who "just want to work dawg" and prefer to roll solo all the time.

Really hope this helps you guys with the scrum blues.

There are plenty of excellent ideas in the Scrum/Agile/etc universe. Usually it's best to cherry pick and not to bow the whole team structure to it. The fundamental idea relies on long term self motivation, which cannot be mandated though companies constantly chase it.

Agile, Scrum, etc have turned into the idea that self motivation can be created within a team by a more hands off management structure. It's very positive and upward thinking, and ironically those virtues are most common when there's a good leader close to the action in charge, the very thing Agile is aimed to reduce.

Excellent employees and excellent leaders drive productivity. Agile might help get upper mgmt "out of the way", but it doesn't create productive people. In a sense, it works because it lacks the stifling characteristics of other common management techniques used by the older generations.

I'm jealous that you have a team where it works well. Don't take my responses as disagreement or pure negativity. I hope your team continues doing well.

 

[Optimus]

at the first bolded: yes, it will continue lasting as long as you can "manage the management", that's the blissful first phase.

at the second bolded: that's the second phase. "Umm, we moved this to a higher priority on your Trello board, why isn't it fixed yet?"



There are plenty of excellent ideas in the Scrum/Agile/etc universe. Usually it's best to cherry pick and not to bow the whole team structure to it. The fundamental idea relies on long term self motivation, which cannot be mandated though companies constantly chase it.

Agile, Scrum, etc have turned into the idea that self motivation can be motivated by a more hands off management structure. It's very positive and upward thinking, and ironically those virtues are most common when there's a good leader close to the action in charge, the very thing Agile is aimed to reduce.

Excellent employees and excellent leaders drive productivity. Agile might help get upper mgmt "out of the way", but it doesn't create productive people. In a sense, it works because it lacks the stifling characteristics of other common management techniques used by the older generations.

I'm jealous that you have a team where it works well. Don't take my responses as disagreement or pure negativity. I hope your team continues doing well.

Correct. Agile and scrum will not turn unmotivated employees into self-motivated employees. You may have to find good and self-motivated leaders for your team who will then add the team accountability required to motivate unproductive team members into productive ones. That will also not always work, and that's when it's time to let people go and replace them with people who can be productive.

Agile is not magic or a silver bullet. The methodologies are there to be cherry picked. Where my team goes into the ditch is by not wanting any kind of structure at all. They prefer to not even have cards or tasks. They would rather get the work straight from the chaos itself and be lauded by the powers that be for the most half-assed but apparently-working stuff they can crank out. It's a sort of fuck-all attitude in terms of writing clean easily manageable code. Very little forward thinking. Thank God the more senior members of the team are more receptive to my ideas and vision but it's still more like herding the cats. Thankfully, I'm not all that stringent about following rules myself but just want a reproducible process that isn't going to hang us later.

I mean, tens of millions of dollars hinge on our meeting the contracts. We all want this good thing to keep going, preferably with us still on board. lol

 

[Optimus]

I offer my balls as well, to be sucked by Agile.

I've hated this shit since inception (I was there). It got taken over by the fucktards that sell consultancy and all the idiots (management and coders alike) ate it up like caviar.

My daily stand ups take an hour. Of a group of 10-15 people.

Damn that is just wrong. We've got 10 participants in our stand ups plus any higher ups who drop in, and I start to bitch and complain if we haven't made the rounds and entered parking lot after 15 minutes.

I'm really not a hard ass. I simply don't suffer fools, of which we have one who loves to ramble about shit not even related to his actual work. We finally nipped that in the bud but he still rabbit trails all on his own... thankfully he can't be far from retirement, and I so look forward to that lunch event when it arrives.

 

[CloudNull]

Presentation went well and director was impressed. We're getting ripped tonight boys!!!!!

 

[Arkam]

Are you me? Holy fuck do I hate Agile. The daily standups can suck my balls. Just let me work dawg. You are taking up all my time when I could be getting shit done. Also, I spend so much mental power thinking of Sprints that are coming which now eats up a huge chunk of my time.

I cant stand these management methods.

Has anyone ever actually used true Agile? In my career I have never scene it. Every company I have worked at either employs Waterfall or a hybrid (waterfall with Scrum ceremonies to feel good). In fact whenever I have interviewed for a company and they say the dumbass "are you familiar with agile development" I always ask what their definition of Agile is in practice. It VERY telling when an org cannot admit they use hybrid methodology.

In fact I lost a job as a Senior Producer at Zynga because I told them that my current project (the competitive shooter Dirty Bomb) had started as Agile but quickly transitioned to waterfall. The VP I was talking to didnt believe it was possible. Years later it make me laugh.

IMO Agile and Scrum are worthless overhead when followed to the Tee. Don't get me wrong I think there is great value in Scrum ceremonies...but only when applied to Kanban or Waterfall. Because unless you are entirely user experience based you have a feature roadmap you are looking to deliver.

I HATE when CHUD think that Agile is a purity test and not willing to bend rules to fit work and SDLCs.

 

[Dreamlord]

Has anyone ever actually used true Agile? In my career I have never scene it. Every company I have worked at either employs Waterfall or a hybrid (waterfall with Scrum ceremonies to feel good). In fact whenever I have interviewed for a company and they say the dumbass "are you familiar with agile development" I always ask what their definition of Agile is in practice. It VERY telling when an org cannot admit they use hybrid methodology.

In fact I lost a job as a Senior Producer at Zynga because I told them that my current project (the competitive shooter Dirty Bomb) had started as Agile but quickly transitioned to waterfall. The VP I was talking to didnt believe it was possible. Years later it make me laugh.

IMO Agile and Scrum are worthless overhead when followed to the Tee. Don't get me wrong I think there is great value in Scrum ceremonies...but only when applied to Kanban or Waterfall. Because unless you are entirely user experience based you have a feature roadmap you are looking to deliver.

I HATE when CHUD think that Agile is a purity test and not willing to bend rules to fit work and SDLCs.

Just the fact that people use the terms "ceremonies" or "scrum master" or childish bullshit like that, is proof how cringe and religious-like nonsense all this agile-branded shit is.

 

[Showdown]

Just the fact that people use the terms "ceremonies" or "scrum master" or childish bullshit like that, is proof how cringe and religious-like nonsense all this agile-branded shit is.

Real talk. "Stories", "Epics", "Sprints", "Afterparty", "Retro", etc.

Never heard of any of these terms and then they started getting tossed around day one and all I could think was, "What the hell is all this?" Followed shortly by, "We're seriously using terms like this?" Which concluded with me saying to myself, "This is quite honestly the dumbest thing that I've ever had to be a part of."

Because we're an infrastructure/network team, we don't use this crap. We've always done things based on Waterfall minus kanban or Jira boards. Or I should say the engineers don't get involved with the boards, that's for the PM's.

They actually had to run us through 2 days of "Agile training" just so we had some semblance of what it was and how we were using it for the current project I'm working. And another day of training just for Jira.