Hemorrhoids are the worst

Thread: Hemorrhoids are the worst
Haxan7

Haxan7

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So I've had a massive painful hemorrhoid inside my asshole for about 4 days now. Can barely wipe due to the pain. The poop is also getting stuck inside the crevices of my anus thanks to the hemorrhoid. Have had to take a shower after every painful shit. I've been walking around with preparation H smeared all over my asshole, which has been staining my underwear. And I've had to worry about it leaking through my pants while at the office.

The worst part is I can't even work out due to the straining, and I already had a lapse in lifting weights due to a cold a couple weeks back. I started drinking again when I was sick because I couldn't work out then either, and now I'm drinking even more thanks to the hemorrhoid. I'm gonna try a run a bit later and see if that improves my overall mood.

I think it was caused by eating too many salads. I went on a salad eating spree where I was eating a huge salad with dinner every night for 4-5 days in a row. I suspect the salads because the last time I had a hemorrhoid, I was also eating loads of salads. It seems counterintuitive because there's fiber in lettuce/tomatoes/avocado/etc, but I guess my body doesn't like it.
 
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Eat more fibre—there's not as much as you think in salads per serving. Like if you eat 20-30 cups of salad maybe, but why do that when you can eat 2 cups of broccoli for the same relative amount of fibre. Don't push when you poop, either. If you're not careful you'll get an anal fissure. Just sit there and surf D-Pad or whatever till it all comes out.
 
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CAB_Life said:
Eat more fibre—there's not as much as you think in salads per serving. Like if you eat 20-30 cups of salad maybe, but why do that when you can eat 2 cups of broccoli for the same relative amount of fibre. Don't push when you poop, either. If you're not careful you'll get an anal fissure. Just sit there and surf D-Pad or whatever till it all comes out.
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I mostly eat meat and dairy and never had any issues with the flow. Fats lubricate naturally.
 
Have you been drinking alcohol? I often get one after a binge, which is partly why I don't drink much anymore. I've also gotten them from not drinking enough water, or eating too much salty shit.

My gut says it has nothing to do with the salads, unless you're putting something really salty in them or not drinking enough water in general.

But I'm no doctor.

Also, are you using PrepH cream or suppositories? The suppositories work much better.

Drink water. At least a gallon a day, maybe more, until it's gone.
 
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Just a quick update:

The pain has subsided a lot today, but the hemorrhoids are definitely still large and bulging. Have not yet attempted a poop today, but I'll post another update once I've had a chance to drop one out. I'm hoping it's substantially easier to wipe today, but only time will tell.
 
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Seems like a nice place to report that I let out like a 15-inch, thick brown rod of health earlier that shocked me when I looked down at it. It went down into the pipe and came all the way up to the surface of the water.

It slid out of me as gently as a hand slides out of a velvet glove.
 
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Grinchy said:
Seems like a nice place to report that I let out like a 15-inch thick brown rod of health earlier that shocked me when I looked down at it. It went down into the pipe and came all the way up to the surface of the water.

It slid out of me as gently as a hand slides out of a velvet glove.
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I love those. Been a long time since I've dropped off a big toilet snake like that.
 
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Grinchy said:
Seems like a nice place to report that I let out like a 15-inch thick brown rod of health earlier that shocked me when I looked down at it. It went down into the pipe and came all the way up to the surface of the water.

It slid out of me as gently as a hand slides out of a velvet glove.
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You know the old saying, you get out what you put in.
 
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Anal Fissures are the worst. I occasionally have a hemorrhoid issue that I complain about, but my brothers both have had anal fissures, they aren't exactly bitches and they were absolutely miserable.

The doctor prescribed me some suppository steroids if mine got worse, thankfully they didn't. I've already had cameras and doctor fingers up there. That hole is exit only.

I use the prep h wipes when I feel the beginning of an issue and that has kept things manageable. I suggest you do the same.
 
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Epic Nemesis said:
Anal Fissures are the worst. I occasionally have a hemorrhoid issue that I complain about, but my brothers both have had anal fissures, they aren't exactly bitches and they were absolutely miserable.

The doctor prescribed me some suppository steroids if mine got worse, thankfully they didn't. I've already had cameras and doctor fingers up there. That hole is exit only.

I use the prep h wipes when I feel the beginning of an issue and that has kept things manageable. I suggest you do the same.
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I've had several anus inspections from my family doctor for various reasons, but thankfully no insertions yet.

Will definitely be purchasing some of the wipes.
 
Haxan7 said:
I've had several anus inspections
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Allnamestakenlol
 
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As important as fiber can be, it's possible to get too much. If you're backed up (doesn't mean your not going to the bathroom necessarily) , eating more fiber is like adding more cars to a traffic jam and that can definitely lead to problems.
 
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I thought there were only two primary causes for hemorrhoids, birthing and excessive anal sex, and I'm pretty sure you haven't birthed anyone.
 
Update #2:

I just took a late night shit. Hemorrhoids are still there but not nearly as painful. I was able to wipe enough I didn't need a shower. A few more days and I think I'll be back to my lackadaisical, carefree poops of the pre-hemorrhoid days.

Thanks for your support everyone.
 
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Get a bidet. It'll make it much less painful when cleaning your arse. I have a handheld one and it's fucking brilliant.
 
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