[JohnnyFlawless]

They say the test of new cooks in high end restaurants is to cook eggs. Because they are hard to perfect, easy to fuck up.

But I think there should be another test.... Make me a sammich, bitch.

Sammiches are hard to master, man. First of all, the bread makes the sammich. Not the other way around. You start with shit bread, it's ruined. It's hard finding good bread in MN honestly, more specifically I'm talking about sub sammiches.

There's so much debate on how to dress it, order of operation, and ratio of ingredients. It all affects it more than you know.

I've read just now on the net, for a standard 6 inch sub.... 4-6oz of meat is the good ratio. I've never weighed. Always eyeballed. And last time, I swear I didn't put that much meat on. But it was holy shit too much meat after I ate it. I never thought I'd be that gayboi... But I might start weighing my meat now. And I throw veggies and condiments on. But thickness of meat is part of the equation, so weighing does make sense.

Anyone else obsess over this? Or do ya'll throw a slice of bologna and a shitty kraft single on there and call it a day. I've become so OCD over making a sandwich, I debate stupid shit like putting ingredients all on one side and folding over, or equally distributing ingredients on both sides of the bread and then folding over.

Making sammiches drives me nuts.

Secondary question just to divide d-pad... Always mayo on the bread, yay or nay?

 

[Calcium]

I don't know, my wife makes my sandwiches.

 

[JohnnyFlawless]

I don't know, my wife makes my sandwiches.

I did actually have a part I deleted about how when women make you a sammich, it just automatically tastes better. Whether they know what they're doing better than us or it's just sexism, idk. And I don't care. Get back in the kitchen and make me a sammich.

How are her sammiches btw.... How many slices of meat son....I want you to interrogate her on how she makes them. I want to know the witchcraft...

 

[Calcium]

How are her sammiches btw.... How many slices of meat son....I want you to interrogate her on how she makes them. I want to know the witchcraft...

My wife makes a mean sandwich. Perfect ratio of ingredients and they never fall apart. I'm not doing any interrogations though, if she knows that I know her secrets she may be inclined to have me make my own sandwiches. Fuck that.

 

[Arkam]

I dont weigh my shit, but here is what I do with my sammies.

Wheat bread (toasted!)
Mayo (both sides)
Boar's Head Deli dressing (both sides)
Two pieces of chees (on on each slice of bread)
3-4 slices of meat (rolled to give it some volume)
A nice piece of romaine lettuce.

Then the most important part, cut in half.....corner to corner! This gives you more crust filled bites.

 

[JohnnyFlawless]

My wife makes a mean sandwich. Perfect ratio of ingredients and they never fall apart. I'm not doing any interrogations though, if she knows that I know her secrets she may be inclined to have me make my own sandwiches. Fuck that.

How the fuck do they know how to do this instinctively.....I can cook for a girl and she'll be impressed like omg I can't do that.... Then they'll go and make a 5 star michelin sammich like they didn't even try. It's witchcraft. I'm convinced.

 

[JohnnyFlawless]

I dont weigh my shit, but here is what I do with my sammies.

Wheat bread (toasted!)
Mayo (both sides)
Boar's Head Deli dressing (both sides)
Two pieces of chees (on on each slice of bread)
3-4 slices of meat (rolled to give it some volume)
A nice piece of romaine lettuce.

Then the most important part, cut in half.....corner to corner! This gives you more crust filled bites.

Prefer white for taste, but if it's a solid quality wheat, I'll take it. I actually like the subway honey oat lol.

Always mayo both sides.

Boar's head is top notch. If not that, we have something local I also get called Deluiso's I think?

I did two pieces of colby jack last time. Idk if it was too thick, or nearing rancid... But for one, it was very potent and overpowered the taste. Smelled kind of stinky too .... But no mold.

I'm slowly becoming a convert to chopped iceberg verses slice of iceberg or romaine. Especially if you dress it first with mayo, oil, red wine vinegar, salt, pepper, oregano (standard if italian Sammy).

Absolutely have to cut in half. But I'd argue one of the most important things to do with a sandwich and people skip it..... Wrap it like a deli and let it sit for a minute. Game changing. Compresses the sammich and marries the ingredients. No longer loose and falling apart when you bite into it. And if it's that big, keep some wrap on as you eat away at it. Honestly the best thing I ever learned for sub sammiches. Same thing for hotdogs and why they are better at the ballpark. That foil wrap makes the difference and I do that now with all my dogs before I eat them.

 

[zero]

There's no formula as far as weighing or anything like that, I just wing it. I can "feel" if I'm putting too much meat or cheese. It's just instinctual.

Honestly, my biggest complaint with a lot of sandwiches made for me is too much veggies. The meat should always overpower the veggies, not the other way around.

Black olives are a must, banana peppers are fantastic in small amounts. Then your standard lettuce, onions, and tomatoes

Boar's head is preferred for the meats, but it's not an absolute must. Ham and salami are mandatory. Pepperoni is usually great too. Pesto parmesan ham is fucking divine.

I'm not super fussy about cheese, but provolone is generally best for sandwiches. Other cheeses are usually better for cooking meals or for grilled cheese sandwiches

and yes to mayo, though there are some nice dressings or sauces that can be substituted for mayo

No to oil and vinegar unless you're gonna go very light on it. Too much ruins the sandwich. I don't want a soggy, messy piece of shit

Always need some salt and pepper, and maybe some oregano. Honestly, any type of Italian seasoning will probably taste great

white bread is always best, I don't care if it's not the healthiest option. It just fucking tastes better. Though sometimes I can go for those fancy breads places have like garlic herb bread or whatever

a really good potato or macaroni salad as a side dish

 

[JohnnyFlawless]

There's no formula as far as weighing or anything like that, I just wing it. I can "feel" if I'm putting too much meat or cheese. It's just instinctual.

Honestly, my biggest complaint with a lot of sandwiches made for me is too much veggies. The meat should always overpower the veggies, not the other way around.

Black olives are a must, banana peppers are fantastic in small amounts. Then your standard lettuce, onions, and tomatoes

Boar's head is preferred for the meats, but it's not an absolute must. Ham and salami are mandatory. Pepperoni is usually great too. Pesto parmesan ham is fucking divine.

I'm not super fussy about cheese, but provolone is generally best for sandwiches. Other cheeses are usually better for cooking meals or for grilled cheese sandwiches

and yes to mayo, though there are some nice dressings or sauces that can be substituted for mayo

No to oil and vinegar unless you're gonna go very light on it. Too much ruins the sandwich. I don't want a soggy, messy piece of shit

Always need some salt and pepper, and maybe some oregano. Honestly, any type of Italian seasoning will probably taste great

white bread is always best, I don't care if it's not the healthiest option. It just fucking tastes better. Though sometimes I can go for those fancy breads places have like garlic herb bread or whatever

a really good potato or macaroni salad as a side dish

Gonna agree 80% on this. Veggie to meat ratio for me should be 40/60. Love black olives but for a sandwich.... Eh. Italian would be the only one I put it on and even then, I feel like it has too much flavor bite that takes away. I'd rather olives on the side to munch on, and actually green for a sammich.

I'm almost fully provolone converted. But that may be because I find my standard being Ham, turkey, salami always involved. At that point... It's becoming an Italian.

So hear me now.... Listen to me later. What you do... Trust me, game changer.... Chop some iceberg up. You toss that with mayo, oil, vinegar, salt, pepper, oregano. You make a salad essentially. You throw that on the Sammich with a mayo covered protective base covering it. It will not become soggy. It will be the best sammich you've ever eaten. Trust.

 

[Franky Family]

If you guys ever get a chance, dip a good sandwich into some Boars Head PepperHouse Hummus

 

[Amorous Biscuit]

A fat such as butter or mayonnaise is essential to a good sandwich.

My go-to is a nice sourdough, mayo both sides, grilled chicken, mozzarella, sun-dried tomatoes and fresh basil.

Lightly fry that in a pan and you've got all the makings of a damn fine sammich.

 

[Dr. Farnsgoth]

Anything but PBJ you sick seppo fucks

 

[zero]

Anything but PBJ you sick seppo fucks

In my mind jelly and chocolate are the only reasons peanut butter exists. God created peanut butter to be eaten with those things and you can't convince me otherwise.

 

[DonDonDonPata]

All that matters is how you fold in the ingredients. If you're not rolling/curling the meat into a dense-ish "patty" to keep it contained in the 4 corners of the bread, you've already started off wrong. Chop ingredients to size. The sandwich should be a like spring that compresses down when you bite it. When the ingredients have nowhere to go (e.g. every slice of cheese and meat were laid flat against one another) then they are gonna go out the sides.

 

[WesternBlood]

Follow these guidelines:



Make the best sandwiches no matter what type you are making.

 

[Showdown]

So I'm going to say something here. It's probably going to hurt some people.

Mustard > Mayo

That's it.

 

[WesternBlood]

So I'm going to say something here. It's probably going to hurt some people.

Mustard > Mayo

That's it.

I don't disagree, but it depends on the type of sandwich.

Also, I never put mayo on a sandwich, rather I make my own aioli with a minced clove of garlic and fresh cracked black pepper. I recommend everyone try it and level up their sandwich on that alone. Also, always shred/cut your lettuce if you are using romaine; surface area = flavor plus better texture/mouth feel. Triangle cut sandwiches prove that.

 

[Showdown]

I don't disagree, but it depends on the type of sandwich.

Also, I never put mayo on a sandwich, rather I make my own aioli with a minced clove of garlic and fresh cracked black pepper. I recommend everyone try it and level up their sandwich on that alone. Also, always shred/cut your lettuce if you are using romaine; surface area = flavor plus better texture/mouth feel. Triangle cut sandwiches prove that.

Good call. I forgot about aioli and yes, if you're going to do something mayo based, level it up aioli style. I do an avocado garlic one myself. But even with that, I can think of one, maybe two sammiches that I'd put that on. Everything else is some variation of mustard or if it's an Italian sammich then it's a mixture of O/V, garlic, oregano, and dijon (Oh look, still getting mustard in on the action).

 

[DESTROYA]

Lot of problems come from trying to put too many things in a sandwich, keep it simple and limit it 5-6 ingredients besides the bread and mayo/mustard .
Meat , cheese , veg and maybe a touch of Italian dressing/oil-vinegar to brighten it up and your set but good bread is a must you can usually find in your local supermarket bakery

 

[WesternBlood]

Lot of problems come from trying to put too many things in a sandwich, keep it simple and limit it 5-6 ingredients besides the bread and mayo/mustard .
Meat , cheese , veg and maybe a touch of Italian dressing/oil-vinegar to brighten it up and your set but good bread is a must you can usually find in your local supermarket bakery

Agreed. It is like a Pizza, keep it simple, less than five ingredients/toppings. Dagwoods are a neat idea in comics, poor students, or debt-crushed divorcee's but strive to distill down a sandwich and enjoy it.

Many different cultures have this figured out.

 

[cryptoadam]

 

[JohnnyFlawless]

sun-dried tomatoes

Can't do it. Love tomatoes....hate sun-dried. Taste all weird and tart to me.

Follow these guidelines:



Make the best sandwiches no matter what type you are making.

I've actually watched that video probably 5 times, every time I'm in the mood to make an epic sammich.

So I'm going to say something here. It's probably going to hurt some people.

Mustard > Mayo

That's it.

Why not both? Mayo isn't inherently for it's own flavor. It pronounces other flavors and contrasts acidity. It protects the bread from wet ingredients. And it helps moisten the sammich. Dry sammiches are a crime.

Damn they cut the best part...."Fine......GET THE SOUP!"

 

[Amorous Biscuit]

Can't do it. Love tomatoes....hate sun-dried. Taste all weird and tart to me.

Could swap it out for some bell peppers or something, get creative!

 

[thebigR]

 

[WesternBlood]

Anything but PBJ you sick seppo fucks

Learn some history you nancy-accented serf of the commonwealth:

 

[Calcium]

You fellas ever replace lettuce with spinach? I'm a fan.

 

[thebigR]

You fellas ever replace lettuce with spinach? I'm a fan.

Preferably baby spinach

 

[WesternBlood]

This is a go to when I have meal prepped Fake (Greek Lentil Stew) for a month as a side dish and don't feel like cooking a full meal:

 

[JohnnyFlawless]

Could swap it out for some bell peppers or something, get creative!

Actually, used some jarred sandwich red bell peppers soaked in oil for an italian and they were pretty good. I'm willing to give sun-dried a shot again, it's been years. But I remember hating them.

You fellas ever replace lettuce with spinach? I'm a fan.

Every time at Subgay because their lettuce is always ass and withered like it'd been sitting there for a week. But normally, I want that crunch factor from iceberg or romaine. Butterleaf is pushing it, but I'd take it.

 

[Showdown]

Why not both?

 

[miona's shoulder monkey]

Actually, used some jarred sandwich red bell peppers soaked in oil for an italian and they were pretty good.

try some ajvar johhny. of course nothing beats making your own. way too much vinegar in most store bought, but it works.

 

[cryptoadam]

Ate a sammich last night. It was good. Love me a deli sandwhich. I am a simple man I don't need anything fancy just some meats cheese picked and onions.

 

[JohnnyFlawless]

try some ajvar johhny. of course nothing beats making your own. way too much vinegar in most store bought, but it works.

Wtf is that?

Ate a sammich last night. It was good. Love me a deli sandwhich. I am a simple man I don't need anything fancy just some meats cheese picked and onions.

As did I. Here is my overanalysis. I used 4.2oz of meat. Turkey, ham, salami, provolone. Tomato and onion and chopped up some iceberg. Mayo, mustard, drizzle of oil and red vinegar. The thing was a behemoth. I had to wrap it and it was still falling apart. Think the problem was I used 5 inches of bread and it was pretty skinny, but this is like the best bread I can find for subs. Nice firm outside and soft inside. Toasted the meat and bread in an air fryer too.

Edit: oh yeah.... Accidentally put the veggies on the bottom... Which is gonna be another debate in itself cuz I think it may be the way.

 

[Franky Family]

A good tip I learned was to salt your veggies slightly. A little bit of salt sprinkled stop the tomato if that's what you want, salt the onion slices, lettuce maybe a very small amount too. I use a very fine salt and it makes all the difference when constructing a sandwich and/or cheeseburger. I even add a very small pinch of salt to the cheese slice(s) if I plan on roasting or cooking the sandwich in any way. I never took that step in the past, but salting the vegetables and cheese leveled up the taste a couple points

Using the slightest amount of turmeric can be a tasty way to enhance the flavor. I use it most of the time for the health benefits and the taste is pretty good the same. As long as you're using a bit of pepper it provides a bit of health benefits. Although, curcumin pills would be the best way to go about attaining the health benefits. That, or just eating raw organic turmeric root with your meals

Banana peppers and pepperoncini for extra taste

 

[JohnnyFlawless]

A good tip I learned was to salt your veggies slightly. A little bit of salt sprinkled stop the tomato if that's what you want, salt the onion slices, lettuce maybe a very small amount too. I use a very fine salt and it makes all the difference when constructing a sandwich and/or cheeseburger. I even add a very small pinch of salt to the cheese slice(s) if I plan on roasting or cooking the sandwich in any way. I never took that step in the past, but salting the vegetables and cheese leveled up the taste a couple points

Using the slightest amount of turmeric can be a tasty way to enhance the flavor. I use it most of the time for the health benefits and the taste is pretty good the same. As long as you're using a bit of pepper it provides a bit of health benefits. Although, curcumin pills would be the best way to go about attaining the health benefits. That, or just eating raw organic turmeric root with your meals

Banana peppers and pepperoncini for extra taste

I neglected to mention... I salted and peppered the tomato. You should always do that. You should salt a salad for that matter. It's a reason restaurant salads taste so much better than your shitty home made one.

I'm practically eating curcumin pills at this point with an unknown inflation I'm dealing with on the entire side of my left torso. All nerve related. I'm seriously almost convinced I have some sort of cyst or tumor on my spine causing this. It's MRI time.

 

[DESTROYA]

I neglected to mention... I salted and peppered the tomato. You should always do that. You should salt a salad for that matter. It's a reason restaurant salads taste so much better than your shitty home made one.

I'm practically eating curcumin pills at this point with an unknown inflation I'm dealing with on the entire side of my left torso. All nerve related. I'm seriously almost convinced I have some sort of cyst or tumor on my spine causing this. It's MRI time.

Hope it's nothing serious

 

[Franky Family]

I neglected to mention... I salted and peppered the tomato. You should always do that. You should salt a salad for that matter. It's a reason restaurant salads taste so much better than your shitty home made one.

I'm practically eating curcumin pills at this point with an unknown inflation I'm dealing with on the entire side of my left torso. All nerve related. I'm seriously almost convinced I have some sort of cyst or tumor on my spine causing this. It's MRI time.

I never even thought to salt a salad. No wonder mine always just taste like grass lmao

At least you're taking the right medication. Pharmaceutical NSAIDs are sketchy. MRI is a good idea to get scheduled. It's probably nothing too concerning, but just to be safe and find some peace of mind best to rule everything out with imaging. You'd be surprised at how many ailments can stem from an issue fairly minor in nature. Or even just inflammation, which can sometimes cause a tremendous amount of pain and discomfort in its own right. Most of the time patients aren't too bad off, and hopefully you're dealing with something that will heal quickly

 

[JohnnyFlawless]

Hope it's nothing serious

Preciate it

I never even thought to salt a salad. No wonder mine always just taste like grass lmao

At least you're taking the right medication. Pharmaceutical NSAIDs are sketchy. MRI is a good idea to get scheduled. It's probably nothing too concerning, but just to be safe and find some peace of mind best to rule everything out with imaging. You'd be surprised at how many ailments can stem from an issue fairly minor in nature. Or even just inflammation, which can sometimes cause a tremendous amount of pain and discomfort in its own right. Most of the time patients aren't too bad off, and hopefully you're dealing with something that will heal quickly

Yeah I've had imaging a couple years ago. It's a long ass story what's going on with me. it would be a thread on its own. Problem is I don't think they imaged the right spots. So now I'm gonna be demanding image from my brain down to my dick. None of this spot check shit. Rule it all out. But everyone, my chiro and doctor, tell me they've never heard of inflammation on one side. That right there tells me enough... Image it. Cuz that sounds like brain or nerves disrupted for one side of the body. Problem with doctors is you have to say you're in extreme pain before they will image. I can't just say hey.... This is happening, very inflamed, slightly painful. Then I get "welllll come back in a couple months and lemme know how it is"

Fucking hate doctors.

 

[JohnnyFlawless]

Well since my bread is practically the size of Jimmy John's shit.... I'm gonna use up the rest of my meat tonight for another sammich and try building it how they do it. They like to stack meat and cheese dead center of the sandwich and then do a pinch in the center as they close it over, so it helps keep all the crap in. So simple.... And yet..... So brilliant.

Jimmy John's does actually sell their bread which is fking delicious. I should just go buy that stuff on the cheap for my sammiches. Our state really does suck at having good bread. Chicago, NY, and all the other shitty cities have the good high gluten bread that has a nice crisp outside but a soft, pillowy, stretchy interior that doesn't fall apart and can stand up to jus dips.

 

[Franky Family]

What type of oil do gourmet chefs most like to use when making an in house mayonnaise? To be honest, I hate mayonnaise bought in stores. Those ones can't be trusted and almost all of them are low quality. Store bought mayo is disgusting