[Mickmrly]

While browsing the Donald the other day, I came upon a post commenting upon a redditors first time story:

I thought it was quite amusing. I give the author praise for his thorough description of his actions but I am let down by the quite odourful experience. I give this story a 2/10, funny but in quite poor taste.

What do you think of this anonymous redditor's first time story? Are you amused, bemused, disgusted?

 

[DESTROYA]

@TaySan is this you ?

You get what you pay for, this is what happens when you offer $20 to some crack whore that hasn't showered in a week.

 

[Calcium]

Congrats on the sex, @TaySan.

 

[CAB_Life]

That is some stank-a-dank sex.

Edit: "that hole was full of anal excretion" was the golden line for me.

 

[King of Foxes]

Thread hijack losing virginity stories

I lost mine with a girl named Lubova in a field in Lielvarde during a high school party with like 15 people standing about 10 feet away.

It was a two pump chump effort from me but i was 14

 

[teezzy]

Lost mine in the back of my Mercury Tracer when I was 16. She was my biggest crush at the time too. I just sat there like a dumbass and she did all the work lmao. That was clearly not her first time

 

[Stouffers]

I lost mine to my junior high head lunch lady. She brought the Salisbury steak.. I brought the gravy and ladled out a generous helping.

 

[DESTROYA]

I lost mine to my junior high head lunch lady. She brought the Salisbury steak.. I brought the gravy and ladled out a generous helping.

Not anymore, your gravy is lifeless now.

 

[TaySan]

I hope she doesn't know his Reddit account lol

 

[Stouffers]

I hope "she" doesn't know my Reddit account lol

FTFY

 

[TaySan]

Congrats on the sex, @TaySan.

I was younger my first time, but not nearly as a negative an experience. XD

 

[Bullet Club]

"I did fellation to her"

Sounds like he might have porked this woman:

 

[Stouffers]

I was younger my first time, but not nearly as a negative an experience. XD

Falling out of it doesn't count as sex, my man.

 

[regawdless]

Talk about having dirty sex.

Always shower and shave before going at it you filthy stinky reddit degenerates.

 

[Bullet Club]

I've never looked at r/sex before. Some interesting thread titles in there.

 

[Stifler's Mom]

Depends on the woman.

Some smell bad down there, some don't...

 

[regawdless]

I've never looked at r/sex before. Some interesting thread titles in there.

This is great. I want to read all that.

 

[Mickmrly]

I've never looked at r/sex before. Some interesting thread titles in there.

Buttplug surprise is never a good idea. Bad reddit.

 

[King of Foxes]

I've never looked at r/sex before. Some interesting thread titles in there.

i dont have a reddit account but these are my first instict posts, pretty sure i would be banned

 

[Bullet Club]

I looked at this one.

His wife cheated on him with a woman. The woman has a GF now, so that's done.

The guy has had a vasectomy so was hoping he could nut freely from now on but the wife doesn't want to clean the jizz up after it flows out of her.

 

[Bullet Club]

Carpet or drapes?

 

[regawdless]

Carpet or drapes?

posted by h0rnythroaway
lol.

 

[HariSeldon]

I looked at this one.

His wife cheated on him with a woman. The woman has a GF now, so that's done.

The guy has had a vasectomy so was hoping he could nut freely from now on but the wife doesn't want to clean the jizz up after it flows out of her.

Paging @Stouffers

 

[Stouffers]

Paging @Stouffers

Maybe it's time I told her about THE SECRET OF THE OOZE.

 

[Yawnson]

I just looked at this thread for the first time, I thought It was about writing short stories for the first time on reddit thread, than I read that story about nasty stinky sex and I don't know what to think anymore

 

[rndmslckr]

I get the feeling that half of those are people making up stuff from boredom.

 

[Mickmrly]

I get the feeling that half of those are people making up stuff from boredom.

I sure hope the rimming stuff is made up. Just eat chocolate ice cream if you want brown stuff.

 

[Bullet Club]

Ever had a kneejob?

I sure hope the rimming stuff is made up. Just eat chocolate ice cream if you want brown stuff.

They're all a bunch of Rimmers on Reddit.

 

[HariSeldon]

The kneepit thing is just a joke from Ally McBeal.

 

[Musky_Cheese]

The kneepit thing is just a joke from Ally McBeal.

I never suspected the show was that interesting

 

[HariSeldon]

I never suspected the show was that interesting

Honestly I really like it, though stop before watching the final season because it shits over everything. Until then though it's excellent. Funny, a likeable cast, and pre-woke so bullshit-free. Lots of stuff that really would get you cancelled today.

 

[infinitys_7th]

>be in my first time having sex
>I'm going for a rimjob

Absolute degenerate.

 

[Bullet Club]

 

[Musky_Cheese]