Thread: Joke Thread
What's Joe Biden's favorite arcade game?

Space Invaders

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A kid is riding on the school bus, and is in the seat right behind the bus driver.
He says "If my mommy was a hen and my daddy was a rooster I would be a little chick."
"If my mommy was a mare and my daddy was a colt I would be a little foal."
The kid continues with every other animal he knows, and the bus driver begins to get annoyed.

After 15 baby animals the bus driver gets fed up, turns around, and says "Hey kid, if your daddy was gay and your mom was a prostitute, then what would you be?"

The kid smiles and says "I'd be a bus driver."
 
Police officer: So your husband was in quarantine because of a positive Covid-19 test. Tell me what happened.

She: I got home early from work and noticed that someone else was in our home. There were strange noises of people fighting.

Police officer: and you grabbed your gun.

She: I thought it was an intruder. I went up, into our bedroom. Finding my husband in bed with another women.

Police officer: what happened then?

She: Then, both died of covid.
 
Police officer: So your husband was in quarantine because of a positive Covid-19 test. Tell me what happened.

She: I got home early from work and noticed that someone else was in our home. There were strange noises of people fighting.

Police officer: and you grabbed your gun.

She: I thought it was an intruder. I went up, into our bedroom. Finding my husband in bed with another women.

Police officer: what happened then?

She: Then, both died of covid.
Verified by coroner.
 
Guy finishes drinking at the bar and starts to head home. Immediately falls off his chair on to the floor and thinks "Woah, I must have drank more than I thought, hope my wife is asleep when I get back"
He tries to stand up only to fall all over the place again.
"Damn, guess I'll crawl home and sneak in quietly"

He arrives at his front door to find his wife swinging it open and screaming at him
"How much have you had to drink!?"
"I didn't have that much, honestly"
"Is that why the pub called to say you left your fucking wheelchair behind again!"
 
A brain and a pair of jump leads walk into a bar. They ask the bartender for two pints.
Bartender tells them both to get out immediately.
The patrons reply "But why? What'd we do!?"
Bartender points at the brain and says "Well you're out of your head and he's bound to start something."
 
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