[Mal]

Hey everyone.

I have a question, I feel stupid but I think it's the only hope for this situation.

I have a woman that is very dear to me, she broke up with an abusive boyfriend last year and is now working on herself to get her confidence back. The thing is, the ex is still part owner of the house with her, she doesn't have the money to buy his part of the house nor the strength to leave the house (12 years of abusive relationship where her confidence and independence was broken).

So here I am, trying to help her, I don't know how really, I tried everything but the grip from his ex is still present since he comes home time to time just to let her know he's still there and it stresses her beyond belief.

I know the easy answer is for her to gtfo but she can't, she wants to but it's physically and mentally impossible for her. Her only hope is for him to finally force a sell of the house, but she's also scared of that because she'll lose the house and her pets since going in an apartment with all her pets is impossible

So I don't know, I made a GoFundMe, I know this will probably be a failure but I am trying since I think this and winning the lottery are the only hope. But how would I go into sharing and promoting this? I don't want her to know about it, I don't want her to stress and feel bad about it even more.

I'd just love to hand her the freaking money for her to buy her freedom back...

 

[Kadayi]

Legit question, when you say dear to me it is because you are boning her or because you hope to bone her once she sorts her shit out? Because unless it is the former I wouldn't get involved. People need to help themselves a lot of the time, and "I can't possibly do this because *reasons*" is generally an excuse not to do something and wallow in the misery they know versus deal with the uncertainty of actual change because change is scary. Finding a place that allows pets is certainly difficult, but it's not impossible, or at the worst put them up for adoption. That might seem like a sucky option, but what's the priority here? Putting up with living in a state of constant anxiety until they all collectively croak, or moving on with your life?

 

[Dr. Farnsgoth]

lol simp

 

[regawdless]

Raising a big amount of money without a heart breaking story and while staying anonymous wont' work. Otherwise, everyone would say "I know this person I won't go into details about, and I need you to give me money for free."

These situations are always difficult. Thing is, everyone is responsible for their own decisions. She needs to find her courage and leave, dealing with the consequences and making the best of it. On your part, I'd try to show her realistic options and offer your support to be there for her.

Don't bet on a financial miracle.

 

[HariSeldon]

So if it isn't a parody post I'll keep it simple. They always go back. Every single time. You are not special, you can't save her, she doesn't want you to save her.

 

[Mal]

Legit question, when you say dear to me it is because you are boning her or because you hope to bone her once she sorts her shit out? Because unless it is the former I wouldn't get involved. People need to help themselves a lot of the time, and "I can't possibly do this because *reasons*" is generally an excuse not to do something and wallow in the misery they know versus deal with the uncertainty of actual change because change is scary. Finding a place that allows pets is certainly difficult, but it's not impossible, or at the worst put them up for adoption. That might seem like a sucky option, but what's the priority here? Putting up with living in a state of constant anxiety until they all collectively croak, or moving on with your life?

No, not at all, she's the sister of my friend. Weve been helping her the last year and it's crushing. It's one of my faults, I sometimes have too much compassion.

I already have a girlfriend and have no desires to get involved with her

 

[Mal]

Raising a big amount of money without a heart breaking story and while staying anonymous wont' work. Otherwise, everyone would say "I know this person I won't go into details about, and I need you to give me money for free."

These situations are always difficult. Thing is, everyone is responsible for their own decisions. She needs to find her courage and leave, dealing with the consequences and making the best of it. On your part, I'd try to show her realistic options and offer your support to be there for her.

Don't bet on a financial miracle.

Yeah ive given some thoughts since i made the thread and gave up. If it has to happen, it will happen, I cant get involved.

 

[Ornlu]

she doesn't have the money to buy his part of the house nor the strength to leave the house (12 years of abusive relationship where her confidence and independence was broken).

I know the easy answer is for her to gtfo but she can't, she wants to but it's physically and mentally impossible for her.

I'd say the bolded is how you can help; whatever her issues are, she needs to fix them. Help her get over w/e physical or mental problems are stopping her, if you can.

 

[Mal]

I'd say the bolded is how you can help; whatever her issues are, she needs to fix them. Help her get over w/e physical or mental problems are stopping her, if you can.

Yeah she's already going to therapy and already have improved a lot in the last year. Maybe she needs more time to rebuild herself up and move forward

 

[Stouffers]

Get her a gym membership

 

[El Rey]

What's she doing for a living? Not even kidding, tell her to sell feet pics. She'll probably be able to buy a house in less than a year. Women literally make thousands every month off that shit.

 

[Dr. Farnsgoth]

What's she doing for a living? Not even kidding, tell her to sell feet pics. She'll probably be able to buy a house in less than a year. Women literally make thousands every month off that shit.