Thread: Cooking/Recipe Sharing |OT| It's BURNT You F*cking Donkey!
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JohnnyFlawless

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As a connoisseur of the culinary arts (fancy way of saying I like to cook shit), I wanted to make this OT. Do note there is already a Baking |OT| for you Betty Crocker mfers.


salt-bae.gif


This is a place to
•Tell us what you're cooking
•Tell us what you want to cook or request a recipe
•Share pictures of your masterpieces that would make Gordon Ramsay proud not slap you
•Share pictures of your failures if you were so bold
•Share recipes in general



HURRY UP! FUCK OFF!


Gimme the jacket.....gimme the FUCKING JACKET!


 
These are my top recipes to start. I love Italian and Mexican, so that's a lot of my recipes. If I had a go to dish that is restaurant quality and beyond, it would be the one of course I for some reason don't have a picture of myself making :cautious:. So I stole this one.

Tagliatelle alla Bolognese:

Bolognese-sauce-5.jpg


ragu_bolognese.jpg.webp

3oz PANCETTA
3 TBSP EXTRA VIRGIN OLIVE OIL
1 MEDIUM YELLOW ONION, MINCED
1 MEDIUM CARROT (OR 6-8 BABY CARROTS)
2 STALKS CELERY
1 TEASPOON KOSHER SALT (separate from the light salt and pepper while seasoning layers)
1 POUND GROUND BEEF
1 POUND GROUND PORK
1/2 CUP DRY RED WINE OR WHITE WINE
1 TBSP TOMATO PASTE
1 28oz CAN SAN MARZANO TOMATOES (yes, San Marzano matters don't be a cheapass)
2 DRIED BAY LEAVES
FRESHLY GROUND BLACK PEPPER TO TASTE
WATER AS NEEDED
1 CUP MILK
1 CUP BEEF OR CHICKEN STOCK (would use red wine w/ beef, white wine with chicken.....both completely change the flavor profile but both are amazing)



Heat the olive oil in a wide, 3 to 4-quart pan or Dutch oven over medium heat. Sauté pancetta until browned. Mince or preferable food processor the onion, carrot, and celery into a mince. Stir in the onion, carrot and celery, season them lightly with salt and pepper and cook, stirring, until the onion is translucent. Crumble in the ground beef and pork and continue cooking, stirring to break up the meat, until all the liquid the meat has given off has evaporated and the meat is lightly browned, about 10 minutes. Pour in the wine and cook, scraping the bottom of the pan, until the wine is evaporated, 3 to 4 minutes. Stir in the tomato paste and cook a few minutes, then pour in the tomatoes, toss in the bay leaves, and season lightly with salt and pepper. Bring to a boil, then lower the heat so the sauce is at a lively simmer. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the sauce is dense but juicy and a rich, dark red color. This will take about 3 to 4 hours—the longer you cook it, the better it will become. While the sauce is cooking, add water as necessary to keep the meats and vegetables just covered. In the last hour, add stock and milk and cook down until the ragu develops the consistency you want. Note: It's a MEAT sauce. It's not supposed to look watery or saucy.

I personally cook the noodles to al dente and then toss a serving in a pan with a ladle of the sauce and toss it for 30-60 seconds over medium heat. Then plate and pour more sauce over top. Garnish with Italian parsley and fresh parm. Reserve pasta water in case your cooked noodles start cooling off and sticking together. Add and stir to loosen them again. As a general rule for ANY pasta, you should ALWAYS reserve pasta water for this very reason at least. If you don't eat pasta with a good garlic bread, you gay. This sauce is also great to use the leftovers to make lasagna as well. It's a fantastic lasagna sauce.



The standard. All marinara sauce was shit before I found this simple recipe and the beauty of San Marzano tomatoes. Marinara should be about the tomato flavor. Less is more. In fact, I don't even add onions anymore.

Spaghetti Marinara:

IMG-20220929-224353.jpg
IMG-20180410-205000.jpg


1 28oz CAN SAN MARZANO TOMATOES (yes, San Marzano matters don't be a cheapass)
1/4 CUP EXTRA VIRGIN OLIVE OIL
7 GARLIC CLOVES SLIVERED
CRUSHED RED PEPPER TO TASTE
1 TSP SALT
1/4 TSP DRIED OREGANO (or just a few dashes)
1 LARGE FRESH BASIL SPRIG
1 TBSP BUTTER
[OPTIONAL] SMALL ONION

Pour tomatoes into a large bowl and crush with your hands. Pour 1 cup water into can and slosh it around to get tomato juices. Reserve.
In a large skillet (do not use a deep pot) over medium heat, heat the oil. When it is hot, add garlic (onion first if you choose to add that). Add crushed red pepper here to infuse with garlic and oil.As soon as garlic is sizzling and GOLDEN (do not let it brown), add the tomatoes, then the reserved tomato water. Add oregano (if using) and salt. Stir.
Bring to a boil then simmer for about 15 minutes. Place basil sprig, including stem, on the surface (like a flower). Let it wilt, then submerge in sauce for about 10 minutes. Then, remove sprigs from sauce and discard.

Cook pasta to al dente. As always, reserve some pasta water. Then, watch this clip from the Sopranos and never go back to the way you were serving your pasta macaroni again.



DO NOT ADD FKING SUGAR TO THIS....matter of fact, you shouldn't be adding sugar to any tomato sauce. If you need sugar for that bullshit old wives tale that it "cuts" the acidity, your tomato is shit and you're not using San Marzano like I told you. Long simmering red sauces like my bolognese above utilize natural sugars from the soffritto and it helps bring out all the flavor of the meat while giving it a velvety, melt in your mouth taste and feel. God help me if I catch you using sugar, I will find you and burn your kitchen down.

This is a fast marinara sauce that concentrates on the tomato. It's fresh and bright. Adding meat to it would require a long simmer to incorporate flavor into the meat. That kills the purpose of this sauce. But because I need meat, I tend to make meatballs with this. Still in search of the perfect meatball recipe that is juicy and fork tender. Every meatball recipe I try says they are juicy and tender and they're all full of shit. I've heard adding ricotta to the meatballs may accomplish this. More labbing must be done. If you don't eat pasta with a good garlic bread, you gay.




A dish I only discovered just a few months ago, it's so damn good, I've already made it about 5 times since the summer. And it's so easy and fast to make. Hard to mess up. Again for some reason, I don't have my own picture. Also a reason I kept making it is I kept playing around with three different recipes, all very similar, to see which I liked best. So a lot of this stuff is optional to play around with on top of the base recipe which I like. Sometimes I want it more tart, sometimes I want it creamier. Heavy Cream is not required, and the one recipe I found used way too damn much. I ultimately landed on 1/4 cup as the perfect balance without taking away the lemon flavor and tartness.

Pasta al Limone:

ba-recipe-pasta-al-limone.jpg


Here's the three recipes I tried:




This is base across the board:

1/2 lb Spaghetti
1 Med-Large Lemon
4 TBSP Unsalted Butter
1 Cup of Parmigiano Reggiano, Finely Dusted

[OPTIONAL ADDITIONS]
Zest of Lemon
1/4 Cup Heavy Whipping Cream
1 Garlic Clove slivered
Crushed Red Pepper to taste

Cook your pasta al dente in heavily salted water. Meanwhile, heat a saucier on low heat. Add all lemon juice. Reserve 1-2 cups pasta water after pasta is done. Pull your pasta wet and toss it into the saucier. Add in your butter as well as the leftover lemon skins. Stir vigorously to emulsify as well as release lemon zest from the lemon skins. Toss in 1/2 Cup of the parm. Add pasta water along the way as needed. That's pretty much it! Too thick? Add more pasta water. Too thin? Add more parm. Make it a little too tart because you forgot to taste along the way like an asshole? Work in some heavy cream. Plate and garnish with more parm, and perhaps some basil or italian parsley. I particularly have been loving it with fresh minced basil. Keep that reserved water handy and the remaining unserved pasta on the warmer. It will seize up and thicken real fast. When you want to go back for seconds, add more pasta water to thin it again.

The other option essentially is completely omitting the parm from the sauce. Then you plate it and add a literal shit ton of parm on top of the pasta. This changes the texture and taste. It will start off very tart as the parm starts to cascade off and work into the pasta and eventually a creamy sauce as you continue taking bites.

[Other optional start with the additions]: Cook your pasta al dente in heavily salted water. Meanwhile, heat a saucier on MED heat. Reserve 1-2 cups pasta water after pasta is done. Few TBSP of extra virgin olive oil. Throw in the slivered garlic and red pepper flakes (cooking only to golden) as well as lemon zest at this point if you'd like. Once the garlic is where you want it, add the heavy cream. Bring to a light simmer and reduce heat to low. Add lemon juice. Slowly add in the butter 1 TBSP at a time and work whisk into the sauce. Once worked in, bring back to MED heat and pull the pasta wet and transfer to sauce. Work pasta in with sauce and add pasta water as needed along with 1/2 cup of the parm. Remaining parm for garnish. I'd say garlic bread optional on this one....except for me, still need it. If you don't eat pasta with a good garlic bread, you gay.




I'm a chili fanatic. Aside from my brother's over the top recipe which I can't yet replicate because I don't have a smoker, this is my next favorite chili. I use it for most bases and alter it depending on my tastes. Strangely enough....it actually came from the comics and it actually kicks ass.

Green Arrow Chili:

Green-Arrow-Secret-Files-Origins-2002.jpg


As usual, Batman showing the badass he is while everyone else is a pansy.

Pretty straight forward recipe that on its own is damn good. But I like to tinker. I usually add 1 of each peppers: poblano, jalapeño, serrano. Maybe a stalk of celery, can of green chilies, and whatever other green shit I can think of when I feel like making it. Chop every veggie into chunks, not diced. It's chili, not soup. Knock it off with the small veggies. I make with 1lb steak chunks and 1/2 ground chuck, as the directions can be a bit confusing on which is supposed to be used. So I just use both. But I also made it recently using smoked pork and chorizo and it was effing amazing, so it works well for other meats. I usually opt for 1 can of pinto in chili sauce, and one can of dark red kidney (drained). Finally, I'll throw in extra hot crushed pepper flakes as well as a tsp of some hot sauce I'm feeling. Of the reaper variety most the time. We don't use that tabasco pussy shit 'round here, you feel? Look at Batman. Is he sweating it? No, and neither should you. Typically I'll garnish with onion and fresh slices of serrano. But the absolute must: all chili must be consumed garnished with cheese and eaten with chips, or you gay. If you even mention cornbread so help me God...



A staple growing up, my mother made this quite often. It was the chili I was raised on and as simple as it is, it's fking delicious. It's the taco sauce that makes it. Great as a base as is but you can add to it. That's the beauty of chili. Just throw shit in there and let it simmer for hours. Hard to mess it up.

Domestic Goddess Chili:

picI4Mh9O.jpg


2 lbs ground beef
1 onion
1/4 cup chili powder (McCormick is what we used and it has sodium already in it. You may need to add salt if you use your own chili powder.)
2 tsp minced garlic
2 15oz cans tomato sauce
2 8 oz jars taco sauce
2 15oz cans dark red kidney beans, drained and rinsed
Shredded cheddar cheese for garnish
Tortilla chips

Cook beef. Add onion and cook translucent. Stir in chili powder and garlic and cook for a few minutes. Stir in tomato sauce and taco sauce. Bring to boil, then simmer and cover. Simmer at least 1 hour, but the longer the better. Add water as needed if it reduces too much. Original recipe actually does state to garnish with cheese and use chips to scoop up chili and that's now how I have to eat every single chili I make. Use chips and cheese or you gay.
 
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Been on the search for a unique restaurant style salsa recipe with tomatillos and nice kick to it. I'm convinced that most of these recipes online are posted by moms who blog for clicks or something cuz all the recipes I've tried (five now) have missed their mark. The base is relatively similar each time, but none of these recipes have the right spices in their right amount added in that measure up to the flavor of a favorite Mexican restaurant or even some of the fast food joints that offer it. When I find the right one I'll post the recipe
 
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Been on the search for a unique restaurant style salsa recipe with tomatillos and nice kick to it. I'm convinced that most of these recipes online are posted by moms who blog for clicks or something cuz all the recipes I've tried (five now) have missed their mark. The base is relatively similar each time, but none of these recipes have the right spices in their right amount added in that measure up to the flavor of a favorite Mexican restaurant or even some of the fast food joints that offer it. When I find the right one I'll post the recipe

You ain't the only one. I tried making my own hot sauce too. Tasted nothing like bottled stuff. Queso dip as well....i can't find a damn good queso dip. May just stick with Chipotle giving their recipe out and do that next time.
 
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These are my top recipes to start. I love Italian and Mexican, so that's a lot of my recipes. If I had a go to dish that is restaurant quality and beyond, it would be the one of course I for some reason don't have a picture of myself making :cautious:. So I stole this one.

Tagliatelle alla Bolognese:

ragu_bolognese.jpg.webp






The standard. All marinara sauce was shit before I found this simple recipe and the beauty of San Marzano tomatoes. Marinara should be about the tomato flavor. Less is more. In fact, I don't even add onions anymore.

Spaghetti Marinara:

IMG-20220929-224353.jpg
IMG-20180410-205000.jpg






A dish I only discovered just a few months ago, it's so damn good, I've already made it about 5 times since the summer. And it's so easy and fast to make. Hard to mess up. Again for some reason, I don't have my own picture. Also a reason I kept making it is I kept playing around with three different recipes, all very similar, to see which I liked best. So a lot of this stuff is optional to play around with on top of the base recipe which I like. Sometimes I want it more tart, sometimes I want it creamier. Heavy Cream is not required, and the one recipe I found used way too damn much. I ultimately landed on 1/4 cup as the perfect balance without taking away the lemon flavor and tartness.

Pasta al Limone:

ba-recipe-pasta-al-limone.jpg






I'm a chili fanatic. Aside from my brother's over the top recipe which I can't yet replicate because I don't have a smoker, this is my next favorite chili. I use it for most bases and alter it depending on my tastes. Strangely enough....it actually came from the comics and it actually kicks ass.

Green Arrow Chili:

Green-Arrow-Secret-Files-Origins-2002.jpg


As usual, Batman showing the badass he is while everyone else is a pansy.



Will update more later.

Out of those, I think I like the pasta al limone the most. I prefer recipes with fewer ingredients, and simpler meals in general. What vegetables do you usually have with your recipes?
 
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Out of those, I think I like the pasta al limone the most. I prefer recipes with fewer ingredients, and simpler meals in general. What vegetables do you usually have with your recipes?

You mean as a side I take it? Depends on what I'm making. Side salad a lot of times. Garlic greens beans and mashed potatoes with steak usually. Or hash browns and a cucumber salad. Sometimes I'll hit the deli and see what they got. Usually they got a broccoli and bacon salad thing that's a good side. Mexican, rice and beans are standard sides. I got a ton more recipes and pics with sides I'll share. I was just setting this damn OT up at work between all the dumb shit going on.

Damn I forgot to mention I usually make a quick blackened or cajun chicken and/or shrimp with that limone. The limone is easy, but the basic marinara if you didn't make meatballs or anything with it is really quick and easy. And it don't break the bank. We may all be living off that soon enough with this economy. FJB :cautious:
 
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Threw another chili recipe up in my original post. I'll add this little guy tonight. Sam the Cooking Guy has a ton of amazing recipes on youtube. I've long been in search of a great stroganoff recipe. While I'm still looking, this recipe is amazing. A traditional stroganoff usually calls for ground beef or cheap cuts of steak mixed in the sauce to compliment it. This recipe, however, the star of the show is the steak. And the sauce compliments it. You don't mix the steak in with the sauce, rather you layer it on top. But the addition of vermouth and horseradish changes it slightly from a traditional stroganoff taste. Makes it more like a white wine sauce. I've used filet mignon, ribeye, and NY strip for this. All are amazing. You just need to know how to properly cook a steak with a cast iron and get a prime or choice cut. Don't ever get select, it's a waste of money.

Filet Mignon over Stroganoff:

IMG-20211010-210451.jpg
IMG-20211010-210754.jpg




3 Tenderloins or equivalent steak of your choice
1 Onion
1/2 lb Shitake or Mushroom of choice
Oil and Butter
1 Clove of Garlic
Salt and Pepper to taste
1-2 Tsp fresh Thyme
2 cups Beef Stock
1/2 cup Heavy Cream
Splash of Vermouth
1/2 cup Sour Cream
1 Tbsp Worcestershire
1 Tbsp Prepared Horseradish (or traditionally, Dijon Mustard)
6-8oz noodles
Italian Parsley to garnish

Cook steak preferably in same pan to leave fond behind for flavor. Add bit of oil and knob of butter. Add julienned onions and sliced mushrooms to pan, salt and pepper them to taste, and soften them over a couple minutes at med-high heat. Make a well in the middle of the pan and throw in minced or pressed clove of garlic. Cook for a minute until fragrant, then add fresh thyme and mix. Add a splash of Vermouth and cook away for a minute. Add beef broth and heavy cream and mix. Bring to boil and then simmer for about 10-15 min. Cook noodles to al dente and reserve pasta water. Add sour cream, worcestershire, and horseradish. Mix and simmer further a couple minutes. Pull noodles wet and add them to the sauce and mix. Add pasta water if needed to thin. Add your sliced steak to the middle of the pasta in a mound. Garnish dish with black pepper and Italian Parsley (used green onions above instead that day). This recipe is slightly altered from Sam's original and the simmer time is lessened so the sauce doesn't reduce too much. His came out dry as balls and that's why mine look dry above. Flour is not needed for the sauce as the pasta is directly mixed into the sauce in this version and the starch will naturally thicken it.
 
I've been getting into lacto fermentation lately, even went out and bought a 5 liter fermentation crock (but you don't need it, mason jars work fine). The basics of lacto fermentation is to submerge vegetables in an around 5% saline solution which will make an impossible environment for harmful bacteria to exist, but will allow the the lactobacillus bacteria to thrive. Lactobacillus is literally everywhere, and normally it kind of just sits there doing nothing. When placed in an anaerobic environment, however, it starts to 'pre-digest' things, both preserving food, and unlocking nutrients for the human gut biome. The saline solution prevents nasties from growing.

Long story short fermentation has been the primary method of food preservation since pre-history, and humans evolved to crave it. That's why we like pickles, sauerkraut, kimchi, etc. Only in the past 100 years or so has widespread refrigeration been a thing, and it's kind of fucked up our body's evolved method of keeping shit regular (literally).

Simple recipe, fermented garlic. Go down to your local bulk grocery situation, and buy a 5 pound bag/gallon plastic jar of peeled garlic. Last time I did this I went to a Gordon Food Service for the gallon jug, and I fermented it in its own container. If you buy it in a large bag you'll need a crock or large 1/2 gallon mason jars. All you need to do is mix up a big batch of saline solution; put container on scale, tare, fill with water, record and tare, multiply water weight by .05, add that much pickling or kosher salt (NOT IODIZED TABLE SALT, IT WILL KILL YOUR FERMENT!!!!!!!!!). Pour saline solution in the vessel until it covers the garlic, and use something to keep the garlic submerged. This can either be a weight, or literally make a ziplock bag full of saline water to stuff into the top of the jar to keep it submerged.

If using a mason jar either use an airlock lid, or you can even use a regular canning lid tuned upside down, and a jar ring not even finger tight. Lactobacillus produces CO2 and lactic acid as byproducts, so you want airflow out with reasonable protection from airflow in. Store at room temperature for 3 weeks with a tray to catch potential liquid overflow. After the 3 weeks there will be a milky quality to the liquid, and some of the garlic will turn green, this is perfectly normal and safe.

Take the container, seal it up, and put it in the fridge. It will now last for 2 years under refrigeration, the garlic will have lost all its raw garlic bite (you can literally snack on it), and the fermentation liquid is hyper-infused with salty garlic flavor for pouring a few tablespoons into sauces. The only thing that's odd is that you need to use at least 1.5 times the garlic any recipe calls for, but who the fuck cares, you just preserved 5 pounds of it.
 
The best fucking ribs that I know how to make after 8 years of trial and error.

Night before

Thaw ribs entirely, and tear the membrane off the back of the ribs. Coat in a very thin layer of regular, cheap-ass yellow mustard, coat in your rub of choice, and keep in the fridge overnight. Yellow mustard is literally an emulsion of all the spices you want in a BBQ rub, and white vinegar. The vinegar will penetrate the meat, carrying all the rub flavors with it, and you won't be able to taste the mustard after you smoke the meat.


BBQ day

Preheat smoker to standard 225-250. Smoke with your choice of wood for 2 hours naked (the meat, not you). Wrap in foil, and (this is very important) poke a bunch of holes in the bottom of the foil for the rendered fat to drain. If you don't do this you will get greasy ribs. You foil for 2 reasons, to take the meat off the smoke, and to make the meat fall-off-the-bone tender. Keep the foiled ribs on the slow cook temp for another two hours.

After the 4 hours is up get some method of extremely high heat. Turn the grill up, turn your broiler on, fire up your culinary flamethrower, etc. Coat the ribs in a very thin layer of the BBQ sauce of your choice, and blast each side of the ribs for about 90 seconds (use your best judgement with the flamethrower). You're aiming for a nice caramelization of the sugars in the BBQ sauce / grill char, this also drives out any lingering grease that might turn off the stomach.

Let the ribs rest for 5 minutes before carving. The meat will have a tasty crust, melt in your mouth, and pull off the bone cleanly. Become the rib man.
 
A vacuum sealer will pay for itself within a single shopping trip. There are 2 independent grocery stores within 30 minutes of me that sell 40 pound food-service cases of chicken leg quarters for about 20 dollars. I separate the drumsticks from the thighs, seal up about 2 pounds of each per bag, and throw them in the freezer. I always have chicken dark meat to throw on the smoker at a (reasonable) moment's notice.

If you can't fit 40 pounds of chicken in your freezer go in with a few friends to pay $5 for 10 pounds.
 
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If you guys want all the benefits of a Big Green Egg without spending $1500+, check out the Char-Broil Akorn. Double-wall insulated steel vs ceramic, and I spent about $400 for mine.

This mother-fucker is almost too efficient.
 
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Reactions: Showdown
The best fucking ribs that I know how to make after 8 years of trial and error.

Night before

Thaw ribs entirely, and tear the membrane off the back of the ribs. Coat in a very thin layer of regular, cheap-ass yellow mustard, coat in your rub of choice, and keep in the fridge overnight. Yellow mustard is literally an emulsion of all the spices you want in a BBQ rub, and white vinegar. The vinegar will penetrate the meat, carrying all the rub flavors with it, and you won't be able to taste the mustard after you smoke the meat.


BBQ day

Preheat smoker to standard 225-250. Smoke with your choice of wood for 2 hours naked (the meat, not you). Wrap in foil, and (this is very important) poke a bunch of holes in the bottom of the foil for the rendered fat to drain. If you don't do this you will get greasy ribs. You foil for 2 reasons, to take the meat off the smoke, and to make the meat fall-off-the-bone tender. Keep the foiled ribs on the slow cook temp for another two hours.

After the 4 hours is up get some method of extremely high heat. Turn the grill up, turn your broiler on, fire up your culinary flamethrower, etc. Coat the ribs in a very thin layer of the BBQ sauce of your choice, and blast each side of the ribs for about 90 seconds (use your best judgement with the flamethrower). You're aiming for a nice caramelization of the sugars in the BBQ sauce / grill char, this also drives out any lingering grease that might turn off the stomach.

Let the ribs rest for 5 minutes before carving. The meat will have a tasty crust, melt in your mouth, and pull off the bone cleanly. Become the rib man.

This reminds me, I need to get a BBQ/Smoked Meat OT going. Been meaning to put something like that together because I do a ton of smoking and I'd consider it completely separate from kitchen cooking. It's its own art form.

I may give your ribs a shot. I've done the 3-2-1 method a few times and I'm just not a huge fan of that. I don't like rib meat that falls off the bone, I prefer to have bite on it. And foiling can steam them too much which can make them mushy. Your method is a bit shorter on the smoker so it may come out differently than what I'm used to. I also don't mind having more smoke flavor on the meat so I usually leave it unwrapped the entire time. I only typically throw 2 or 3 wood chunks in so it's not overwhelming by any stretch. Usually, they're on for around 6 hours depending on what temp I'm running. I'll spritz with apple juice/water mix every 30 minutes after 3 hours. Then the last hour, brush with BBQ/honey/apple juice type mix and crank the heat to get the caramelization.

If you guys want all the benefits of a Big Green Egg without spending $1500+, check out the Char-Broil Akorn. Double-wall insulated steel vs ceramic, and I spent about $400 for mine.

This mother-fucker is almost too efficient.

Oh dude, good looking out. I've always wanted a Kamado grill but they're so expensive. Didn't even know Char-Griller did one. I'm definitely going to look into this. Wish I would've known about it earlier. Could've told people this is what I wanted for Christmas lol.
 
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Oh dude, good looking out. I've always wanted a Kamado grill but they're so expensive. Didn't even know Char-Griller did one. I'm definitely going to look into this. Wish I would've known about it earlier. Could've told people this is what I wanted for Christmas lol.
I practically stole mine. Found a Lowes that didn't have any in back stock, bought the floor model, they knocked off $100 for a minor cosmetic blemish, and I bought it during a Florida tax holiday for "disaster preparation" in the run up to hurricane season this year. I also brought my grandmother for a 10% military discount.

$315
 
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I've been getting into lacto fermentation lately, even went out and bought a 5 liter fermentation crock (but you don't need it, mason jars work fine). The basics of lacto fermentation is to submerge vegetables in an around 5% saline solution which will make an impossible environment for harmful bacteria to exist, but will allow the the lactobacillus bacteria to thrive. Lactobacillus is literally everywhere, and normally it kind of just sits there doing nothing. When placed in an anaerobic environment, however, it starts to 'pre-digest' things, both preserving food, and unlocking nutrients for the human gut biome. The saline solution prevents nasties from growing.

Long story short fermentation has been the primary method of food preservation since pre-history, and humans evolved to crave it. That's why we like pickles, sauerkraut, kimchi, etc. Only in the past 100 years or so has widespread refrigeration been a thing, and it's kind of fucked up our body's evolved method of keeping shit regular (literally).

Simple recipe, fermented garlic. Go down to your local bulk grocery situation, and buy a 5 pound bag/gallon plastic jar of peeled garlic. Last time I did this I went to a Gordon Food Service for the gallon jug, and I fermented it in its own container. If you buy it in a large bag you'll need a crock or large 1/2 gallon mason jars. All you need to do is mix up a big batch of saline solution; put container on scale, tare, fill with water, record and tare, multiply water weight by .05, add that much pickling or kosher salt (NOT IODIZED TABLE SALT, IT WILL KILL YOUR FERMENT!!!!!!!!!). Pour saline solution in the vessel until it covers the garlic, and use something to keep the garlic submerged. This can either be a weight, or literally make a ziplock bag full of saline water to stuff into the top of the jar to keep it submerged.

If using a mason jar either use an airlock lid, or you can even use a regular canning lid tuned upside down, and a jar ring not even finger tight. Lactobacillus produces CO2 and lactic acid as byproducts, so you want airflow out with reasonable protection from airflow in. Store at room temperature for 3 weeks with a tray to catch potential liquid overflow. After the 3 weeks there will be a milky quality to the liquid, and some of the garlic will turn green, this is perfectly normal and safe.

Take the container, seal it up, and put it in the fridge. It will now last for 2 years under refrigeration, the garlic will have lost all its raw garlic bite (you can literally snack on it), and the fermentation liquid is hyper-infused with salty garlic flavor for pouring a few tablespoons into sauces. The only thing that's odd is that you need to use at least 1.5 times the garlic any recipe calls for, but who the fuck cares, you just preserved 5 pounds of it.
Anything with covering garlic in liquid scares me. Botulism 😬. I make garlic infused olive oil, but then I dump the cloves out or use them immediately for something else. I'm sure fermenting probably takes care of any botulism worries, though.
If you guys want all the benefits of a Big Green Egg without spending $1500+, check out the Char-Broil Akorn. Double-wall insulated steel vs ceramic, and I spent about $400 for mine.

This mother-fucker is almost too efficient.
Is it beginner friendly? I'm a smoker noob, but I wanna get into it bad. I didn't even like ribs my whole life until I had them smoked. So fking good having that bark, but also fall off the bone tender. Every other method of cooking ribs is ass.

Preheat smoker to standard 225-250. Smoke with your choice of wood for 2 hours naked (the meat, not you)

Don't tell me how to live my life.
 
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Anything with covering garlic in liquid scares me. Botulism 😬. I make garlic infused olive oil, but then I dump the cloves out or use them immediately for something else. I'm sure fermenting probably takes care of any botulism worries, though.

I understand the concern, but that's what the saline water protects against. Lacto fermentation has been used for thousands of years.

Is it beginner friendly? I'm a smoker noob, but I wanna get into it bad. I didn't even like ribs my whole life until I had them smoked. So fking good having that bark, but also fall off the bone tender. Every other method of cooking ribs is ass.

Honestly not really. The most beginner friendly smoker is going to be an electric one, but you aren't going to get a smoke ring in an electric smoker. A kamado style grill isn't hard to use, but it takes a little research. The main thing to understand is that you can't easily cool it down, so you have to babysit it with vent manipulation as you slowly climb to the proper smoking temp. There are plenty of YouTube videos about how to work a kamado, it's not difficult, just a little fiddly.

I started with an electric smoker though, and made some damn good food in it.
 
I understand the concern, but that's what the saline water protects against. Lacto fermentation has been used for thousands of years.



Honestly not really. The most beginner friendly smoker is going to be an electric one, but you aren't going to get a smoke ring in an electric smoker. A kamado style grill isn't hard to use, but it takes a little research. The main thing to understand is that you can't easily cool it down, so you have to babysit it with vent manipulation as you slowly climb to the proper smoking temp. There are plenty of YouTube videos about how to work a kamado, it's not difficult, just a little fiddly.

I started with an electric smoker though, and made some damn good food in it.

If I'm gonna go with a smoker, I want the real deal. Didn't even know electric smoker was a thing. I'll have to learn the ways. I believe.
 
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If I'm gonna go with a smoker, I want the real deal. Didn't even know electric smoker was a thing. I'll have to learn the ways. I believe.
The only type of smoker I would honestly recommend you stay away from is an off-set. Cheap ones are very inconsistent with the heat, and expensive ones are expensive.
 
If I'm gonna go with a smoker, I want the real deal. Didn't even know electric smoker was a thing. I'll have to learn the ways. I believe.

The Green Mountain Grill I have is a pellet grill/smoker (AKA: electric). Anything that's a pellet grill doubles as a smoker and they're all electric AFAIK. They do have actual electric smokers but I've got no experience with them.

I consider my pellet grill cheating though. And honestly, the food I smoke on my WSM tastes better. The GMG is good for quick smoking or grilling. But it's the camping size so not the greatest for regular old home use. Now that the Char-Griller Kamado is on my radar, that's gonna be what I'm shooting for to take care of my grilling needs.

The only type of smoker I would honestly recommend you stay away from is an off-set. Cheap ones are very inconsistent with the heat, and expensive ones are expensive.

And an off-set requires a lot of know-how and constant monitoring of temps. That's what I'd go with once you actually get good at smoking AND treat it as a hobby. For as much as I smoke, I still don't think I'd invest in one at this time.
 
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......

To.... plug the pellet grill into an outlet? To supply it with power?

I don't know how you want me to answer this.

Okay are we talking about two different items here....I was specifically talking about your smoker....do you have a separate grill/smoker combo you're talking about?
 
Okay are we talking about two different items here....I was specifically talking about your smoker....do you have a separate grill/smoker combo you're talking about?

Yeah. I've got the Weber Smokey Mountain which doesn't need power (though I have accessories for it that do), and I've got a Green Mountain Grill. That's the pellet grill that needs to be plugged in. It's powered via electric current.
 
Yeah. I've got the Weber Smokey Mountain which doesn't need power (though I have accessories for it that do), and I've got a Green Mountain Grill. That's the pellet grill that needs to be plugged in. It's powered via electric current.

Okay that's where the disconnect was, fk sake.
 
Well it took me this long to finally figure it out, but the trick to crispy hashbrowns really is to rinse them and get rid of the starch and then wrap them in a dish towel and squeeze the shit out of them. That and cooking them in clarified butter, but I'm not sure how much that helped. I wish I knew how to cook them just like breakfast restaurants though. Still can't get them perfect. Who used to work at a Dennies, get your ass in here and share the secret.
 
Any advice for Canadians looking for good burger cheese?

Love stuff like in and out due to the cheese but in Canada we don't have a good selection of American style cheese.

Kraft singles don't taste the same, so looking for other good alternatives.
 
Well it took me this long to finally figure it out, but the trick to crispy hashbrowns really is to rinse them and get rid of the starch and then wrap them in a dish towel and squeeze the shit out of them. That and cooking them in clarified butter, but I'm not sure how much that helped. I wish I knew how to cook them just like breakfast restaurants though. Still can't get them perfect. Who used to work at a Dennies, get your ass in here and share the secret.

Rinse the potatoes in plenty of water and then again after you grate them.
Dry them very well.
You could use a touch of cornflour to bind the grated potatoes into hashbrowns.

For roast potatoes, the same applies, but you should slightly boil them first, then toss them around in a pan to make them fluffy, cool them down for the Steam to evaporate, and then roast them in a lot of preheated oil in a pan.
 
Any advice for Canadians looking for good burger cheese?

Love stuff like in and out due to the cheese but in Canada we don't have a good selection of American style cheese.

Kraft singles don't taste the same, so looking for other good alternatives.

Damn I was totally gonna burn you with "Yeah. AMERICAN." But you're actually looking for American. That's weird kraft singles taste different. Idk why they would. First off, if you can get access to any cheese from Wisconsin, you're ahead of the game. I won't buy kraft shredded cheese anymore. It's straight ass. I buy crystal farms because it's from sconni and you can taste the difference. Same with frozen pizzas. That's why Jack's tastes so effing good.

I know Velveeta does the singles too, maybe try them. Or go deli and try their American. But I'm also sure you can find a cheese site like Gardners to order from like I did. They were hit and miss for me though and I don't think they have american.
 
Damn I was totally gonna burn you with "Yeah. AMERICAN." But you're actually looking for American. That's weird kraft singles taste different. Idk why they would. First off, if you can get access to any cheese from Wisconsin, you're ahead of the game. I won't buy kraft shredded cheese anymore. It's straight ass. I buy crystal farms because it's from sconni and you can taste the difference. Same with frozen pizzas. That's why Jack's tastes so effing good.

I know Velveeta does the singles too, maybe try them. Or go deli and try their American. But I'm also sure you can find a cheese site like Gardners to order from like I did. They were hit and miss for me though and I don't think they have american.

Velveeta may be the way to go on this one, thanks for the advice.
 
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Sharing with you a traditional Bavarian recipe that went extinct even here during my lifetime which is tragedy. It's one of my favorite dishes and it's so simple, too:

Paprikaschnitzel:

- buy as many Turkey/pork schnitzel as you plan to eat
- flatten the schnitzels with one of those kitchen hammers to enlargen the schnitzel while making them thinner at the same time
- salt and pepper the schnitzel reasonably
- flour both sides of the schnitzels
- now fry them in a pan with a good amount of oil
- take them out and put them somewhere where they stay warm (I just take 2 plates and use one plate as a lid)
- Do not clean the pan!
- use the delicious residual from frying the meat and put lots of paprika power in the pan. Like, a good 4-5 big spoons, if not more
- add water before the paprika powder burns, stir it so there's no clumps of paprika, everything should be a smooth sauce
- optional: If you didn't have much residual from the meat frying or want to add flavor, add some broth into the pan. If you have enough, use broth instead of water to begin with
- now add like 1-2 big spoon flour to make the sauce more viscose, less watery. It should still be fluid, but not as fluid as water
- put the schnitzel back into the pan so they can soak in the sauce
- allthewhile cook your favorite shape of pasta
- serve the dish by putting past on a plate, then 1-2 schnitzel on top, then a nice amount of paprika sauce
- important: ironically, no fresh paprika belongs into this dish, lol.
- enjoy

I'll actually be making this these coming days, maybe I'll make a photo then. It's really, really good <3
 
Rinse the potatoes in plenty of water and then again after you grate them.
Dry them very well.
You could use a touch of cornflour to bind the grated potatoes into hashbrowns.

For roast potatoes, the same applies, but you should slightly boil them first, then toss them around in a pan to make them fluffy, cool them down for the Steam to evaporate, and then roast them in a lot of preheated oil in a pan.

Is this your tip or what they do in restaurants? Also wondering if they cook in butter or oil. Tastes like a shitload of butter to me where they get that nice brown crisp on the outside, then the inside is super greasy....which I love.

Sharing with you a traditional Bavarian recipe that went extinct even here during my lifetime which is tragedy. It's one of my favorite dishes and it's so simple, too:

Paprikaschnitzel:

- buy as many Turkey/pork schnitzel as you plan to eat
- flatten the schnitzels with one of those kitchen hammers to enlargen the schnitzel while making them thinner at the same time
- salt and pepper the schnitzel reasonably
- flour both sides of the schnitzels
- now fry them in a pan with a good amount of oil
- take them out and put them somewhere where they stay warm (I just take 2 plates and use one plate as a lid)
- Do not clean the pan!
- use the delicious residual from frying the meat and put lots of paprika power in the pan. Like, a good 4-5 big spoons, if not more
- add water before the paprika powder burns, stir it so there's no clumps of paprika, everything should be a smooth sauce
- optional: If you didn't have much residual from the meat frying or want to add flavor, add some broth into the pan. If you have enough, use broth instead of water to begin with
- now add like 1-2 big spoon flour to make the sauce more viscose, less watery. It should still be fluid, but not as fluid as water
- put the schnitzel back into the pan so they can soak in the sauce
- allthewhile cook your favorite shape of pasta
- serve the dish by putting past on a plate, then 1-2 schnitzel on top, then a nice amount of paprika sauce
- important: ironically, no fresh paprika belongs into this dish, lol.
- enjoy

I'll actually be making this these coming days, maybe I'll make a photo then. It's really, really good <3

Huh. Might have to try this. What the hell is a schnitzel anyway? I'm ashamed that I don't know, being a kraut.
 
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Well it took me this long to finally figure it out, but the trick to crispy hashbrowns really is to rinse them and get rid of the starch and then wrap them in a dish towel and squeeze the shit out of them. That and cooking them in clarified butter, but I'm not sure how much that helped. I wish I knew how to cook them just like breakfast restaurants though. Still can't get them perfect. Who used to work at a Dennies, get your ass in here and share the secret.

Being from Australia, We don't get hashbrowns like in the US. Denny's was the highlight of my travels in the USA. Those fucken hashbrowns are fairdinkum. Eggs over easy. Thats a rippa of a restaurant. But yea please let us know how to cook those damn amazing hasbrowns.
 
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Being from Australia, We don't get hashbrowns like in the US. Denny's was the highlight of my travels in the USA. Those fucken hashbrowns are fairdinkum. Eggs over easy. Thats a rippa of a restaurant. But yea please let us know how to cook those damn amazing hasbrowns.

The things we take for granted in Murica. We got some good restaurant chains that know how to cook a damn good breakfast. Even better is when you find a nice mom and pop like I did near me that serves a fucking amazing Cajun Breakfast. About a pound of hashbrowns usually with onions, peppers, mushrooms, couple eggs on top, and smothered in hollandaise sauce and topped with cajun seasoning. Probably my favorite breakfast. About 2000 calories later. That's your meal for the day. You're done after that lol.
 
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Is this your tip or what they do in restaurants? Also wondering if they cook in butter or oil. Tastes like a shitload of butter to me where they get that nice brown crisp on the outside, then the inside is super greasy....which I love.



Huh. Might have to try this. What the hell is a schnitzel anyway? I'm ashamed that I don't know, being a kraut.

Oh, I thought "schnitzel" is known in english, too. Just a regular piece of meat. I'll post a photo to make it clear:

Putenschnitzel:

838888-01.jpg


Schweineschnitzel:

schweineschnitzel_600x600.jpg


Can be a Kalbschnitzel (calf), too, but that's more expensive usually.

So, schnitzel = regular cut of meat, nothing fancy.
 
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